What am I seeking?

Well, I sit here thinking about what to say in my very first blog post, *ever*! A multitude of thoughts flood my mind. God has been teaching me so many things lately I don't even know where to begin! My desire is to do the Lord's will, no matter what it is. Right now I don't really know where God is leading me, or what He wants for me...so I am doing what I know is the most important thing- seeking Him. "God's will is not a road map, it's a relationship." -Dr. Adrian Rogers. Oh how true that is! It's easy for me to forget that sometimes, and allow my focus to slide towards seeking what He wants me to do, instead of seeking Him. HE must be my pursuit. I must be immersed in His heart! When you don't know what to do next, just start praising Him! Delight in Him. Enjoy Him. I pray everyday to feel what His heart feels, and see through His eyes. His word is so incredibly amazing! It is "living and powerful [...] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).

I'd like the share some Oswald Chambers. This is from "My Utmost for His Highest," April 19th. I think it is fitting for me right now. My faith and trust are not based upon my circumstances. Believing God is not conditioned on what's happening or how clearly I see down the path ahead of me. The truth is, I don't have to see. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)

~Gracious Uncertainty~

"...it has not yet been revealed what we shall be..." 1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be so precise— trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next—that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our

uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?" We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies.. That is not believing God — it is only believing our belief about Him.

Jesus said, "... unless you ... become as little children ..." (Matthew 18:3 ).The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, ". . . believe also in Me" (John 14:1 ), not, "Believe certain things about Me". Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in— but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.