set-apart heart

His fullness = my portion

2011-08-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Just a very small, scratching-the-surface tid-bit of what the Lord has been showing me recently..... :)

(from my journal today)

Thinking more about Hebrews 11, and Abraham, and You being the reward and my inheritance. "O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance..." (Psalm 16:5) "...Yes, I have a good inheritance." (v. 6) You Yourself are my inheritance. I noticed the word "portion" in there. It reminds me of the story of the prodigal son, and how he asked for his portion of the inheritance. I looked up the definition of the word....

por·tion

1. A section or quantity within a larger thing; a part of a whole.

2. A part separated from a whole.

3. A part that is allotted to a person or group, as:

a. A helping of food.

b. The part of an estate received by an heir.

c. A woman's dowry.

4. A person's lot or fate.

tr.v. por·tioned, por·tion·ing, por·tions

1. To divide into parts or shares for distribution; parcel.

2. To provide with a share, inheritance, or dowry.

As sons and daughters of God, HE is the portion of our inheritance! Not a portion of Him, but ALL that He is! The fullness of Himself. Wow. For a while now, my life verse has been Psalm 73:26, which says: "My flesh ad my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." For me, that has always meant that He is all I need. He is my portion. But He is also the portion of my inheritance! My portion forever. From the moment He redeemed me and made me His child, He became my portion. My portion is not even a "portion" but it is ALL! All of God. His fullness. God told Abraham in Genesis 15:1, "...I am...your reward." Paul said in Philippians 3:8, "that I may gain Christ"

....We know what the goal is...the prize, the reward, the inheritance. We know that we are strangers, aliens, and foreigners in this world.

"These...received the promises, but having seen them afar off, were assured of them, embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers, and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland...they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." (Hebrews 11:13-16)

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ" (Philippians 3:20)

This is the reason. HE is my reason, my motivation, my goal. This is why we can, and must "stand fast in the Lord..." (Phil. 4:1)

"I have set the LORD always before me..." (Psalm 16:8)

"...He looked to the reward...seeing Him who is invisible." (Heb. 11:26b, 27b)

"looking unto Jesus..." (Hebrews 12:2)

Dare to be a Daniel?

2011-07-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

"But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself..." (Daniel 1:8)

This verse caught my attention as I was reading Daniel chapter 1 this morning. As I read, I was thinking about what kind of man Daniel was. He was a man of purpose and discipline. He was steadfast. Set-apart. His desire was the please the Lord and Him alone.. When Daniel "purposed in his heart," it was not a spur of the moment thing. Driven by his passion for the Lord, Daniel made the decision in his heart . Why? He knew he belonged to the Lord and was not his own. "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in You...and you are not your own?" (1 Cor. 6:19) Daniel refused to defile himself by eating the king's delicasies. Now, he could have just gone along with it since he *was* working for the king. He could have made excuses in his mind to validate eating what was put before him. But NO! He didn't. What would we have done in that same situation? This lesson reaches far beyond food and what we eat. It's about every part of us! Our heart, our mind. "For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Cor. 6:20) The nugget I gained from Daniel today was not so much about food (although that's part of it), but the fact that Daniel refused to fill himself with junk. I desire to be like Daniel in this!! I want to purpose in my heart not to take junk into my heart and mind. It's hard to even make it through one day without being offered some kind of junk. It's everywhere! That's why we have to purpose in our hearts, just as Daniel did, that we are not going to take part in it. The world disguises the junk as "delicasies," but it's a lie. What movies do we watch? What music do we listen to? What are we filling His temple with??? Remember that what we take in is going to be what comes out. Ohh that we would fill our hearts and minds with the precious Word of God! He promises to fill us, but He can't do it if we're filling ourselves with junk. "I am the LORD your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it." (Psalm 81:10) Set yourself apart for Him. Purpose in your heart! Dare to be a Daniel, and say "NO!" to the junk!
"Who may ascend the hill of the LORD, or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart..." (Psalm 24:3-4)

Oh, and here's a little song by Mrs. Judy Stiles... it's a good reminder to consider what we're taking in:

"Who are you listening to? Who has your ear?
Whoever's tune that you're dancin' to is gonna stamp his image on you,
ohh Who do you daydream about? Who do you think is cool?
You'll see it in the mirror in the morning, whoever you're listenin' to."

Death means Life

2010-12-07T18:38:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* Wow. I don't even know where to begin this post. There's so much on my heart and mind! It's like a salad filled with a million good, wonderful things- but they're all mixed together, so it's hard to sort out each individual part. :) One of the most exciting things in the world for me is when I re-learn things. No, really! When I am able to grasp something in a way I wasn't able to before. When truth goes from head knowledge to being ingrained deep in my heart. It's something amazing when I read a verse I've read countless times before, and God reveals Himself and His truth in a way I wasn't able to see previously. I know I will continue to grow and learn until my very last breath on this earth! God is so, so good. I know this one is rather lengthy, but if you have the time, I believe it's worth the read.

I have been learning so much about dying. Yep, that's right- death. Sound depressing? haha. Quite the contrary! Listen to the words of Jesus...

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matt. 16:25

Now, it's easy for me to say I would die for Christ. Like the Jesus Freak stories I've read. Of course I would rather die than deny or renounce Him. But, am I willing to deny myself for Him? Am I willing to sacrifice "myself"? If I say I have "given my life to Christ," that means that I no longer possess the rights to myself- Jesus does now. "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me..." (Galatians 2:20) "To live is Christ..." (Phil. 1:21) Have you ever been in the midst of working to make a specific dream for your life become reality, only to discover that God had a different dream for you? I have. Having to "let go" of the dream, to let it die, is painful. But what if there is a God-given dream? Do we suppose, then, that we may hold onto it with a death grip? For surely if God gave something, He would not turn around and ask it of us. Right? ...Wrong. We can learn a lot about life from taking a close look at the acorn. "Think of the self that God has given as an acorn. It is a marvelous little thing, a perfect shape, perfectly designed for its purpose, perfectly functional" (Passion & Purity, 164).

"Think of the grand glory of an oak tree. God's intention when He made the acorn was the oak tree. His intention for us is "...the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ" (Passion & Purity, 164). As clay in the hands of the Potter, we must trust Him. The purpose He has in mind for us is much higher than any purpose we could come up with for ourselves. God is in the process of making us like Jesus. What higher calling could we possibly have then to "...be conformed to the image of His Son." (Romans 8:29)?? Just as God has intended this for us, He is also the One who knows how it will be accomplished. "He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." (1 Thess. 5:24) We must trust Him, and let Him have us, for "there is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go...There must be relinquishment. There is no way around it" (Passion & Purity, 165). Jesus spoke to us in John 12:24 about this process: "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

Death means life. Not only new life, but multiplied life! We see this same concept again in John 15:2: "...every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit." Jesus is the vine, we are the branches, and God is the vine-dresser. God "prunes" us in order that we may be even more fruitful. To prune means to "cut off" or "remove." Though that sounds like an uncomfortable process, I am learning it is wonderful! Wonderful because it means growth, not because it's easy or feels good. I want grow. Ohhh, how I want to grow! Even when I can look at my own life and see some areas that need "pruned," I often don't know exactly *how* to do it. I am so thankful for the Vine-dresser! He knows exactly what He's doing.

Surrendering and relinquishing myself to Christ goes far beyond giving up my old, sinful ways.

"...So long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of unlawful things, we have never grasped its true meaning: that is not worthy of the name for 'no polluted thing' can be offered." -Lilias Trotter

What does it mean then? Dying to myself means so much more than just saying no to sin. Jesus, who is the perfect, holy, spotless Son of God prayed to His Father, "...not My will, but Yours be done." (Luke 22:42) Was Jesus' will evil and wrong? No, of course not- He was God, in a body. Elisabeth Elliot writes in Passion & Purity, "It is not that everything that has anything to do with ourselves is in itself wicked and deserving of death. It did not mean that when Jesus said, "Not My will..." There could not have been even the smallest part of His will that was wicked. It was a choice to lay down everything."

Everything. All of myself, and all of my life. This is what it means to present myself "a living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1). But, "what kind of a God is it who asks everything of us? The same God who "...did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all; and with this gift how can he fail to lavish upon us all he has to give?" (Passion & Purity, 40). Our God is indeed asking for "all," but He has also given "all." In the front of my Bible I have written a little quote by William Borden which reads, "Say no to self and yes to Jesus every time." It's a reminder that it is a choice that I have to make more than once. Though we as Christians only have to accept the gift of salvation one time, we do have hundreds of choices each and every day in which we must say "no" to ourselves and "yes" to Jesus. "Life requires countless "little" deaths--occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God" (Elisabeth Elliot, Passion & Purity, 73).

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me." (Matt. 16:24)

It's amazing to think about how the very thing Jesus is asking us to do is the very thing He did. He denied Himself, took up His cross, and obeyed His Father. "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus...who...became obedient to the point of death."(Phil. 2:5,8) I am to have the mind of Christ. Am I obedient to the point of death? Even if it is not physical death on a cross, but merely a "little death" of my own dreams? Yes, Lord. I am willing. I will most gladly trade my dreams for Yours, Jesus. With thanksgiving, I will exchange my desires for the desires of my Lord. God's purposes and plans are always so much bigger than mine. Remember, this is the God who "did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all..." (Romans 8:32) He allowed Jesus to be broken in order that we might be healed.

"But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

Jesus was broken on purpose, with purpose- that we might have life. Will Jesus allow and even ask us, His disciples, to be broken? The answer is yes.

"God has made me as bread for His chosen ones, and if it is necessary for be to be ground in the teeth of lions in order to feed His children, then blessed be the name of the Lord." -St. Ignatius, early Christian martyr

"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad." -Ruth Stull of Peru

From a worldly perspective, brokenness doesn't seem to be looked upon as a good thing, and certainly not a desirable state to be in. Without God in the picture, brokenness is a place of hopelessness. But there are many pictures of brokenness in the Bible where we find much hope. The quotes I just shared bring to my mind the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. In the gospel of John we read that it was a young boy who had only one small lunch with five loaves and two fish. When the disciples reported to Jesus and told Him about the loaves and the fish, they questioned "...but what are they among so many?" (John 6: 9) How often do we ask the same question? We look at the measure of need and we wonder what we even have to offer that will make any difference. But, I notice that Jesus was not concerned with the amount being offered. It seems as though He only needed something to be offered. I also notice that Jesus could have done the exact same miracle only using half of the boy's lunch. But He didn't do that either. He took all that was offered. Jesus took the loaves, "...blessed them and broke them..." (Luke 9:16) It was then that the multitude was fed. Not only that, but there were a whole lot of leftovers! When we offer all that we have to Jesus, He will use it. But we shouldn't be surprised and certainly needn't fear when He breaks the portion we lay in His hands in order to multiply it.

Brokenness is brought to our hearts by many different means. It could be the death of a family member or dear friend. It could be the loss of a dream. It could be a chronic illness. It could be a divorce or break up. Sorrow. Pain. Loneliness. Tragedy of any kind brings brokenness. Some of these cases in which we are broken are not because we offered something to Jesus, and we certainly can't see any multitudes being fed as a result. Our human minds want to know "Why, God?? Why?" We cannot see the purpose in the midst of our pain. But let me assure you, God is near. I remember back in December 2007. It was a day when my heart was brought to the place of brokenness. I remember crying out to God, "Be near to me!" ...Then, I opened up my Bible and read Psalm 34:18: "The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart..." God answered me directly, and let me know that He was already near- He was right there. Since then, that verse has been very dear to me and has brought comfort and strength to my heart many times over. Those who know God, and those who don't know Him, all face pain. But I have learned that with God in the picture, there is no wasted pain. Give it to Jesus. With sorrow often comes loneliness. Or perhaps the loneliness from the loss of someone dear is the cause of the sorrow. Elisabeth Elliot wrote, "loneliness itself is material for sacrifice." It can bring us so much closer to our Lord than could otherwise be if it had not been for our sorrow. We can give our loneliness, even our pain to Jesus. "Cast your burden on the Lord..." (Psalm 55:22) Whatever the burden is, we can bring it --offer it-- to Him. Yes, even our brokenness is material for sacrifice. "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart--These O God, You will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)

There is hope for every broken heart, and that is Jesus. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3) "...by His wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5) Our God is healer. And believe me, He will use the pain you go through to not only draw you closer to Himself, but also draw others. It may be in the midst of the pain, or a little ways down the road, but He will bring into your path the broken heart of another to which you will then be able to know what they are feeling and bring comfort by pointing them to the Healer.

Wow. Our God is so good! My heart is in awe of Him. This post probably should have been five different posts, but there's no turning back now, haha. I am learning that instead of getting depressed or throwing a fit when I face "little deaths," brokenness, or pruning, I can look at the situation with new eyes. My heart can instead rejoice with the knowledge that God is at work creating new life, bringing good, and growing me! Can I get an "amen?"

"that I may gain Christ"

2010-12-02T13:43:00.000-08:00

Everyday is a day of desperation. There is not a morning I wake that I am not in desperate need of Jesus! But the key is remembering my desperation. My flesh is so weak. I need His Spirit, His word, His strength, His grace. I need His heart to beat within me. I need to abide in Him. I need to be broken. I need to be changed. I need to die to myself. I need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. The Lord has been impressing this upon my heart so strongly. "Blessed are the poor in spirit..." (Matt. 5:3) ....Blessed are those who realize they are desolate. Blessed are those who fall on their face in desperation for Him! Blessed are those whose heart breaks over their own sin. ...That is my desire. I want to be like Jesus. I want to reflect His image, though I know the only way is through the refining fire. It is not by the easy, pain-free road that we come to reflect His image.

"They had asked for a repentant heart and had surrendered themselves with a willingness to pay any price for it, and He sent them sorrow. They had asked for purity, and He sent them sudden anguish. They had asked for meekness, and He had broken their hearts. They had asked to be dead to the world, and He killed all their living hopes. they had asked to be made like Him, so He placed them in the fire, "as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Malachi 3:3), until they could reflect His image. They had asked to help carry His cross, yet when He held it out to them, it cut and tore their hands. They had not fully understood what they had asked, but He had taken them at their word and granted their requests." -Streams in the Desert

I have found this to be true. I have prayed all of those things, without knowing the full extent of what it would cost. But the truth is, the cost is nothing compared to what is gained. Now, I pray those prayers, knowing what it will mean. But I still desire it. I want it. I long to be like Jesus, no matter what it takes. One of the most amazing things a disciple of Christ can experience is to be a partaker of His suffering. I want feel what Jesus feels. I want my heart to break for the things that His heart breaks for. I want to cry His tears. I want to see through His eyes. I want His desires to be my desires, and His will my will. I want to give myself fully and completely for the Lord's will. "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Phil. 1:21) If there is still breath in my lungs on this earth, it is for Christ. That His life may be lived through me. Physical death is gain for the believer because they will go to be with Christ. But... while I live, to die is gain when I am dying to myself and my flesh. It is then and only then that I can "present [my] [body] a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God" (Romans 12:1). Any "sacrifice" I make for Christ is really not losing anything, but gaining everything. "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." (Phil. 3:8)

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18)

"Do you love Me?"

2010-12-01T15:10:00.000-08:00

Happy December!

We are now in the very last month of the year 2010. Wow! Time goes by so fast. It reminds me of how short life is, and how little time we have on this earth. We must make it count! We must live each day with our eyes fixed on Christ! We must "seek those things which are above" (Col. 3:1). We must.

John 3:16 is a verse which meets most of us with much familiarity. We know if by heart. We can quote it without thinking. But right now, I urge you to think about it. How does it begin? "For God so loved the world..." Let's stop there a minute. Think about it. What does that really mean? God loved the world. The world? People. Us. You. Me. The teenage boy downtown Roanoke who has given up hope in life. The little girl in Africa wondering if she will get to eat today. The crippled man sitting by the side of the road in India hoping someone will give him a few rupees. 'The world.' The knowledge of God's love is a truly wonderful thing to ponder, but it is impossible for the verse to stop there. We have to know what that Love means. "For God so loved the world, that He gave..." God's love is not stagnant. It doesn't just sit there. This love moved. It GAVE. What did God give? "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." Jesus. Because God loved the world (us), He gave His Son, Jesus. But why? Why did this love move God to give His only Son? "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

Wow. If God's love had not given, I would be eternally separated from Him. I would be dead, with no possible hope of life. God is love. He laid the foundation for love. He defined it. He showed us what love is.

Jesus is asking us, "Do you love Me?" Many of us would be very quick to answer, "Yes, Lord! Of course I love You."

Are we loving with God's measure of love?

"...As I have loved you, so you must love..." (John 13:34)

As He loved us... That is a love that gives. Gives all. A love that gives its very life.

I think Amy Carmichael had it right when she said:

"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."

I want to share a video that is powerfully moving. Click on the link below and watch...

Depraved Indifference

"..Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me." -Jesus (Matt. 25:40)

"Everything" means everything and that's everything "everything" means.

2010-11-24T17:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!! :)

What I am about to share is a little story from a little paper I've had taped to the back of my bedroom door for years. I think it's rather timely... (the story is in orange)

There once was woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. "Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did, and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmmm,
she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "Yeah!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Thankfulness is in many ways, an attitude of the heart; a lifestyle. God has actually been teaching me over the past weeks about being thankful. It's truly amazing! The key is not in searching and looking for things to be thankful for, and then thanking God when you find some. Let me tell you through scripture... :)

"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess. 5:18

Okay, now let's check our comprehension. Give thanks in what?? Just the things we notice that have blessed us?? Just the things that make us happy?? Only the things that we see God working in?? :) ...IN E V E R Y T H I N G.

That should keep us busy enough! But what's so amazing is that when we are busy thanking God for everything in our life, we are DOING HIS WILL. Wow! Have you ever wondered what God's will for you is? Giving thanks is good place to begin. Life is hard a lot of times. The road we travel is marked with pain, disappointment and struggle. But what God is saying, is that He wants us to give thanks, even for those things. With God, nothing we go through in life has to be a waste. There is no wasted pain with God. There is no wasted heart-ache. There is no wasted failure. Why? Because we serve a REALLY BIG GOD! A God who is in the business of giving beauty for ashes, bringing joy from sorrow, and making broken things whole.

Whispers of love

2010-11-22T21:18:00.000-08:00

I witnessed something today that totally made my day. It was one of those "wow" moments that leaves you overwhelmed. Mom had just taken me to the chiropractor and we stopped at Kroger on the way home. I stayed in the car to rest my back while Mom went in the store. We had parked right next to one of the spots reserved for a mother with a child. No one was parked in the spot when we got there, but after a few minutes, a van pulled in. I glanced over and saw a mother getting out of the van. She opened the sliding door on the side of the van, where here daughter was inside. Then I watched as she took the little girl in her arms and gave her one of the most beautiful hugs I've ever seen. She stood there, just holding the little girl tight in her arms. The mother was smiling, and I couldn't hear, but I could see her lips moving as she spoke something to the little girl. I was overwhelmed by the depth love being displayed. The mother was in no hurry. It was as if she had all the time in the world, and nothing was more important than soaking up that precious moment, and delighting in her little girl. She was so gentle, so tender. I couldn't help but see a picture of God in that moment. It's exactly the way He feels about us. It is His delight to hold us close and long. His gentle arms wait to lavish us with love. All the while, smiling from ear to ear because we mean everything to Him. ♥

I love how God whispers His love to me when I least expect it. He doesn't have to, but He does, and I am so thankful for His grace that keeps me from missing it. I wonder how often He leaves us "love notes" that we miss... in a sunset, flowers, or the smile of a child. God is so crazy about us. His love is more than our minds can fathom. Don't miss His whisper.

Tiny speck, huge problem

2010-11-20T17:24:00.000-08:00

The other night as I was tossing and turning, trying to find a position that I could sleep in without pain, my left eye suddenly felt like there was something in it. My first thought was, an eyelash. So, I blinked and rubbed it a bit to get the eyelash out. But the feeling didn't go away. I blinked and rubbed a little more. No success. Tried once more.When no relief came, I got up out of bed and went to the bathroom to look at my eye in the mirror. It was then about 2:00 am. I held my eye open as wide as I could, and scanned for the suspected eyelash. I didn't see anything in my eye at all! So, I asked Mom (who was still awake) if she would come look in it. She also found nothing. All the while, the painfully irritating feeling continued. There was no way I could possible go to sleep with it like that. I tried (about 8 times) splashing water into my eye in hopes that it would wash out whatever was causing the problem. That proved to be unsuccessful. I was getting more and more anxious to get whatever it was OUT of my eye, and a little scared I would have to spend the night in sleepless and painful-blinking agony. Mom then proceeded to pour cups of water into my eye as I pulled my eyelid back. But...yet again...it didn't work. Mom had the idea that we should use the flashlight and have her look again with my eyelid pulled back. About that time, I urgently had to go and lay down because my leg was doing its whole excruciating muscle spasm/cramp thing. Mom followed me to my room and we prayed together. She prayed for God to help reveal whatever the problem was in my eye. Then, as I flipped my eyelid inside out, Mom shined the flashlight and right away, spotted a tiny black speck stuck to the inside of my eyelid. Ahah! Not wanting to use her finger nail, Mom got a Q-tip, dipped it in water and then gently removed the tiny speck from my eye. Right away, the pain and irritation was gone!! :) Yay!!! What a wonderful relief it was. God had answered our prayer. When I looked at the black speck on the end of the Q-tip, I was amazed that something so small and tiny could cause such pain and utter disruption to my life.

I cannot help but be struck with the spiritual picture this experience presents. If you look at just the tiny little speck, it really doesn't appear to be too harmful, or much of a threat. But when taken into the eye, a very sensitive part of the body, it's quite the trouble-maker. Sin can be like that in our lives. Maybe there is just one small, habitual sin we struggle with. We look at it and think, "Oh, it's not that bad...it's just a small sin... I can handle this." The sin might appear to be small, but it is never harmless. The enemy wants to deceive us into thinking things are okay, when they are really not. Many times we cannot even see the sin in our own lives! Just like when I couldn't see anything in my eye at all. It wasn't till I pulled back my eyelid and Mom shined the flashlight that the speck was revealed. For my eye, pain was the indicator that something was wrong, though I couldn't see what it was. Something was there that shouldn't be there. When we are in the Word, the Holy Spirit will speak, convict and show us when something is wrong. We have to be willing to let God strip away the blinders and shine His light into our hearts and lives. Once the sin is uncovered, it must be removed. Just because we realize we have a sin problem doesn't mean that it will just automatically be gone. Realizing the problem is just the beginning. We have to surrender it completely to God (like Mom with the Q-tip), and allow Him to purge us. We cannot do it on our own. We must rely on His strength to overcome sin.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart...see if there is any wicked way in me." (Psalm 139:23,24)

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

new tunes! :)

2010-11-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

Now playing: "Our God," from Chris Tomlin's newest album (which I picked up at Lifeway today)! I love it! :) I really like the album version of this song (Our God). Different from the radio version. It's got strings!When I find a song a like, I listen to it over and over......and over.....and OVER. I'll probably be humming it in my sleep, and hearing it in my dreams tonight. :) All of the songs on this album are excellent, in my opinion. So encouraging and uplifting! Another one that I like a lot is I Lift My Hands, which Chris Tomlin did at the concert in Salem last month...

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty

Pure grace that washes over me

So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

Battle

2010-11-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday! :)

I am sad to say, I am at home, and did not make it to church this morning. The leg and back pain has had me down for over two weeks now. The pain has been pretty bad. Excruciating at times. Part of the time it feels like a muscle spasm that just comes on. Other times it's like an aching cramp in my entire right leg. Part of my right foot still has numbness.Mainly the right side, my heel, and the back of my ankle. I was so determined I was going to go to work on Friday morning. I got up early (the pain is always the worst when I first get up), took pain killer, and went to take a shower... but I couldn't stand up through my whole shower. I knew I couldn't stand up for even a 4 hour shift at work, even though I wanted to sooo badly. I was actually getting pretty discouraged and cried about it this week... I thought for sure I'd be better by now. Then, Mom said something to me the other day that got me thinking. "Spiritual warfare." She was saying how, this could be a spiritual attack. I actually hadn't considered it from that aspect. My friend Samara also reminded me of a very important truth that is easy to forget as I go about my day to day life. "Nothing is purely physical." Meaning, everything in our lives, everyday, is spiritual.

"You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience." ~Pierre Teilhard De Chardin

As Christians, this means that we are in a battle everyday. The Bible tells us!

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12)

So, though I still have a lot of pain, and I'm tempted to just give in to the flesh and be discouraged, I can't let the enemy win this one. No, sir. Through God's Word, I am putting on my eternal spiritual eyes and choosing to refuse my earthly, physical vision. God is always doing so much more than we can see!

"Whatever troubles are weighing you down are not chains. They are featherweight when compared to the glory yet to come. With a sweep of a prayer and the praise of a child's heart, God can strip away any cobweb." ~Joni Eareckson Tada

I can't see with my eyes, the battle that is taking place, even in my own heart and mind. But it is a very real battle, and I need to put on my armor! His Word (my sword) is so crucial, because without it, I have nothing with which to fight back against the lies and tactics of the enemy. My shield (faith) is protection. The faith God gives me to put my trust in Him, and know that He has the power. It is not my own strength that I go in, but in HIS might. I am well aware of my own weakness, and I think that is a key realization to come to before I can stand in Christ's strength and power. "Deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child." (from Twila Paris' song)

"Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." (Ephesians 6:10-11)

"Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints." (Ephesians 6:14-18)

God is good. SO good. Always. His goodness has also been on my mind a lot this week as I've been reading God: As He Longs for You to See Him, by Chip Ingram. I'm in the chapter about the goodness of God. I've been thinking about all He has done... all the ways He proclaims His goodness! Although, God is not good because of the things He has done for us, or the blessings He's poured over our lives. He is good because it is His nature. It is who He is! He cannot be anything else! He blesses and lavishes goodness on the world BECAUSE He is good. I LOVED reading Psalm 107 last night. Wow! Just go and read it. :) Meditate on His goodness. I dare ya! God is good.

As a Bridegroom Rejoices Over His Bride

2010-11-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

Happy Veteran's Day! I am so grateful to all our military who have sacrificed and heroically given their lives for the freedom of this country. And my heart and prayers go out even now to those who are serving on the front lines even as a sit here and type this... Please pray for our troops, and their families they've left behind who love and miss them everyday!

Now, to explain to title of this post. "As a Bridegroom Rejoices Over His Bride." Thinking about my post yesterday of my friend Tia's wedding last month and how much it made me think about us as Christian being the Bride of Christ... Today I got the daily reading e-mail from Ransomed Heart Ministries. If we are His Bride, then that would make Him a Bridegroom. THE Bridegroom! Just think about all the weddings you've ever been to. Think about the Bridegroom's face when he first sees his bride walking down the aisle. I've seen some pretty serious bridegrooms, some grinning some ear to ear, some crying tears of joy. It's one of my favorite things to observe at weddings. God is telling us that He will rejoice over us just as a groom rejoices over his beautiful bride! Wow!! Listen to this...

"As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." (Isaiah 62:5)

The following is the e-mail I got today with an excerpt from the book The Sacred Romance (which I've read and would highly recommend!), by John Eldredge and Brent Curtis. Enjoy! :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

As A Bridegroom Rejoices Over His Bride

The Scriptures employ a wide scale of metaphors to capture the many facets of our relationship with God. If you consider them in a sort of ascending order, there is a noticeable and breathtaking progression. Down near the bottom of the totem pole we are the clay and he the Potter. Moving up a notch, we are the sheep and he the Shepherd, which is a little better position on the food chain but hardly flattering; sheep don't have a reputation as the most graceful and intelligent creatures in the world. Moving upward, we are the servants of the Master, which at least lets us into the house, even if we have to wipe our feet, watch our manners, and not talk too much. Most Christians never get past this point, but the ladder of metaphors is about to make a swift ascent. God also calls us his children and himself our heavenly Father, which brings us into the possibility of real intimacy-love is not one of the things a vase and its craftsman share together, nor does a sheep truly know the heart of the shepherd, though it may enjoy the fruits of his kindness. Still, there is something missing even in the best parent-child relationship. Friendship levels the playing field in a way family never can, at least not until the kids have grown and left the house. Friendship opens a level of communion that a five-year-old doesn't know with his mother and father. And "friends" are what he calls us.

But there is still a higher and deeper level of intimacy and partnership awaiting us at the top of this metaphorical ascent. We are lovers. The courtship that began with a honeymoon in the Garden culminates in the wedding feast of the Lamb. "I will take delight in you," he says to us, "as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will I rejoice over you."

(The Sacred Romance , 96, 97)

Autumn is when God gives the trees highlights

2010-11-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

I have become aware that it is now NOVEMBER! Wow. Time has been flying and leaves have been falling! Autumn is definitely a favorite season of mine. :) God makes so much beauty! The colors proclaim His glory and shout His goodness. There are moments when I just sit and stare, in awe of God's handiwork. His beauty takes my breath away and captures my heart!

one of the little leaves I collected on a walk :)

October highlight....

Tia's Wedding!

One of my best friends since childhood is now a MRS! Yay! :) I was very honored and privileged to be her Maid of Honor. The wedding day was absolutely beautiful (not to mention tons of fun!).

The weekend started out on Friday, October 15, 2010 (my birthday!), with all the girls getting our nails done. I can't think of a better way to spend my 22nd birthday than with a dear friend, *and* getting my very first manicure ever! Twas quite fun getting pampered! :) Then, that evening was the wedding rehearsal and dinner at Neighbor's Place (which was delicious! I had salmon, steamed broccoli, a baked potato, and some kind of incredibly rich and amazing dessert that involved coffee ice cream, chocolate, whipped cream and caramel- YUM). I stayed Friday night at Tia's house so I wouldn't have to drive back and forth as much. I am so thankful we were able to talk and spend time together that evening. It was definitely a sweet time!

October 16, 2010- The Wedding Day!

It was such a sweet thing to watch my friend walk through her wedding day. She was so peaceful. She wasn't stressed or fretting over things.She was just thrilled to be marrying her best friend. Her heart just seemed so happy, so at rest. It was such a beautiful picture! I cannot help but be reminded of the great wedding feast that is yet to come for Christ and His beloved bride. As Christians, we are the bride of Christ. We are preparing to spend eternity with Him!

"...Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless." (Ephesians 5:25-27)

What are we pouring our energy into? What is our heart focusing on? Are we letting the peace of our Beloved rule in our hearts? Are we investing in His Kingdom, or a kingdom that will pass away?

"Therefore if you have beenraised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:1-2)

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

Portrait of a Godly Woman: Queen-like qualities

2010-09-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Happy September 1st!! :)

Farewell beloved August, hello dear September! Stepping into a new month seems like a good time for a heart-check, and some reflection on the past month. Really, everyday a heart-check is needed, but today I am thinking about the qualities of the heart that God sees as very beautiful.

Queen-like Qualities:

Grace filled charm and elegance.
Unusual restraint and self-control.
Continual teachable spirit.
Unselfish modesty and authenticity.
Kind winsomeness, regardless of her surroundings.
Humble respect for authority.

The world defines beauty in terms of the outward appearance, but this kind of beauty doesn't last. It will eventually fade away. The God kind of beauty is an "incorruptible" beauty that will not fade away!

1 Peter 3:4...

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

That's the kind of beauty a daughter of the King possesses. :) It is *very precious* in God's eyes!

Proverbs 31:30...

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

~Summer Blessings~

2010-09-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how fast 4 months can fly by. My mind rolls back to the beginning of May when classes at Virginia Western let out. Oh what a relief and joy it was kiss school goodbye for a while and greet the adventures of Summer 2010! It was an extremely busy spring semester where the idea of 'free time' or 'entertainment' were just distant memories of yester-year.. There were many overwhelmingly stressful days and weeks when God taught me to rely on Him all over again. Relying on God is not one of those lessons that you learn once in life and then you've got it down pat. Daily, I have to choose to rely on Him and not myself. Jesus not only offers His strength to our feeble hearts, but He says it is "made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Hmm....God's strength or my own strength... God's strength or my own strength..? Hmm... It's a no-brainer! I have learned from personal experience that when we lay ourselves at His feet because we can't go on any further in our own strength, He is faithful. His promise is true! An important thing to remember though, is that even when I feel 'strong,' I need Him desperately. There is never a moment when I should rely on my own strength. Never. There were two verses that God spoke to me with, and carried me through. Both are two-part verses in the sense that, God tells us to do something, and then tells us what HE will do when we obey. The first was Psalm 55:22...

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you..."

This verse was (and is) such an encouragement to me! When things were too much for me to handle, I would literally eat this verse for breakfast. Okay, not literally. But that's how much I knew I needed Him, and I needed that promise. I wrote it out on an index card and put it on the dashboard of my car, where I read and meditated on it multiple times throughout the day. So often I catch myself carrying burdens that He is waiting to bear for me if I will only give them to Him. The casting of my burdens (whatever they may be throughout my lifetime) needs to become an automatic action of my heart. The promise is: He WILL sustain me! The second passage that's become engraved on my heart is Philippians 4:6-7...

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

As summer rolled in, life's pace sure wasn't convinced of any need to slow down at all. My summer minutes have proven to be just as packed as my spring minutes were, however with a much lower stress level. :) *whew* The Myrtle Beach trip with the Dixons was a lot of fun! I've gone with them for the past 3 years now, and it was exciting to see how much little Hampton (the youngest) was able to enjoy it this time around! He is such a big boy now! Megan, William and Hampton all have a very special place in my heart. I love those kids! Being at the ocean was really refreshing and relaxing. One morning, I took a long walk on the beach and watched the sun rise over the ocean. *sigh* Moments like that make me long for heaven all the more, because I realize that this amazing joy on earth is nothing compared to that which is to come! :)

Isn't God amazing? I don't have time to finish telling of all my Summer blessings right now, so I shall continue this later. :)

What am I seeking?

2010-08-31T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I sit here thinking about what to say in my very first blog post, *ever*! A multitude of thoughts flood my mind. God has been teaching me so many things lately I don't even know where to begin! My desire is to do the Lord's will, no matter what it is. Right now I don't really know where God is leading me, or what He wants for me...so I am doing what I know is the most important thing- seeking Him. "God's will is not a road map, it's a relationship." -Dr. Adrian Rogers. Oh how true that is! It's easy for me to forget that sometimes, and allow my focus to slide towards seeking what He wants me to do, instead of seeking Him. HE must be my pursuit. I must be immersed in His heart! When you don't know what to do next, just start praising Him! Delight in Him. Enjoy Him. I pray everyday to feel what His heart feels, and see through His eyes. His word is so incredibly amazing! It is "living and powerful [...] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).

I'd like the share some Oswald Chambers. This is from "My Utmost for His Highest," April 19th. I think it is fitting for me right now. My faith and trust are not based upon my circumstances. Believing God is not conditioned on what's happening or how clearly I see down the path ahead of me. The truth is, I don't have to see. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)

~Gracious Uncertainty~

"...it has not yet been revealed what we shall be..." 1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be so precise— trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next—that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our

uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?" We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies.. That is not believing God — it is only believing our belief about Him.

Jesus said, "... unless you ... become as little children ..." (Matthew 18:3 ).The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, ". . . believe also in Me" (John 14:1 ), not, "Believe certain things about Me". Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in— but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.